Skirnir and Gerðr
By the Storyteller
Freyr, god of sex, healthy masculinity, and agriculture, sits pouting. His attendant, Skirnir, asks him why. After a moment of back and forth, Freyr confesses that he’s sat on Odinn’s ‘High Seat’, an elevated throne that allows him to see far and wide for seidr, oracle work[1]. He has apparently forgotten that this is forbidden. It happens… and is self correcting.
While up there, he spies Gerdr, a Jotunn of phenomenal beauty; he can’t get her out of his head—neither can he meet her. He feels doomed to a long life of unrequited love.
‘Not to worry’, assures Skirnir.’ I can bring her here! All I need are your fearless magical horse, and unbeatable magical sword.’ Freyr hands them over[2]. And Skirnir takes off.
When he arrives at Gerdr’s substantial home, it is encircled by fire, presumably to protect her in her father’s absence. Luckily, it’s no problem for Freyr’s magical horse, who cantors right through. The dogs outside, however, seem more of an issue.
Skirnir rides up a nearby hill, finds a herder, and asks how he can get into Gerdr’s home[3]. The herder tells him to give it up; he does not.
Riding back down, Skirnir sits upon the horse outside Gerdr’s hall, waxing on about his own bravery.
Waking up and heading down to her reception, Gerdr tells her attendants that she believes this man, Skirnir, is her brother’s murderer, and instructs them to let him in, which they do.
‘Who are you, and how did you get through the fire?’ she asks.
‘I brought you apples of immortality’, Skirnir answers, emptying his pockets. ‘And all you have to do is come back with me and marry Freyr.
‘I’m not for sale’, Gerdr answers.
‘I brought Draupnir, Odinn’s reproducing ring…’
‘…still not for sale’.
Skirnir pulls out Freyr’s sword. ‘I can kill you with this’.
‘That won’t meet your aim of bringing me to marriage, though my dad might kill you…’
So, enchanted staff and Freyr’s magical items in hand, Skirnir curses her. ‘If you will not marry Freyr, then you will be doomed to sit at the top of Yggdrasil with the eagle (and hawk), and stare down at Helheimr, watching, but never participating in, life and love. All food will look delicious and taste horrific to you, though you will have to eat it to survive. All will be repulsed by you and find you a creepy voyeur. You will forever experience rage, longing, and a tortured heart. All spirits will pick on you and you will be forced to crawl wherever you go, dismal and unwanted. You will grieve others’ joys, and lust after all men, though none will want you. Odinn and Thor will hate you and Freyr will forget you. Corpses will follow you and hand you your only beverage: urine, Your only traits will be perversion, madness, and unrequited, impotent lust.’
With that, he calls in all manner of creatures to swear their allegiance to his spell. He claims that it is done, but he could undo it, if he were so moved.
She gives him a cup of mead, weeping, and tells him she never believed something could move her to marry one of the Vanir.
‘So,’ Skirnir replies, ‘when can we expect you?’
‘I will meet him in the forest, Barri, in nine nights’, she agrees.
With that, Skirnir rides back to Asgardr and tells Freyr she loves him, too, and conveys the appointment details, before riding away forever: with Freyr’s magical items.
‘How can I wait nine nights?’ Freyr calls after him, before returning to his pouting.
[1]. Seidr, the oracle magic also practiced by Freyja, Gullveig, and the Volva, or seeress, who writes the Voluspa (Asgardr’s prophecy), is a woman’s art and it’s implied that Odinn shapeshifts into female form in order to practice it. The God of Death is also understood to be ‘blandinn’, a concept which denotes blended, worldly, and innovative even as it connotes feminine, suspicious, and tainted.
[2]. Apparently, money can’t buy you love, but magical items can.
[3]. Creepiness is apparently not a factor.